The characters
The rest of the team
LOUIS XIV
Feat of arms: between two love affairs and an anal fistula surgery, ruled a kingdom.
His motto: Don’t be a pain in my ass.
MARIA THERESA
OF AUSTRIA
Feat of arms: married her double first cousin.
Her motto: If I was anymore inbred, I’d be a sandwich.
CATEAU THE
ONE-EYED
Feat of arms: took Louis XIV's virginity.
Her motto: In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
MADAME DE MONTESPAN
Feat of arms: scandalous mistress of Louis XIV.
Her motto: A man takes a mistress to stay with his wife while a woman takes a lover to leave her husband.
MADAME DE MAINTENON
Feat of arms: second wife of Louis XIV.
Her motto: Every masterpiece deserves a draft.
PHILIPPE D'ORLÉANS
Feat of arms: brother of Louis XIV, representative of the LGBTQIA + community, my favorite.
His motto: Gay at birth, amazing by choice.
LOUIS XV
Feat of arms: depressed king, compulsive lover and unfaithful husband.
His motto: I am faithful to myself and myself only.
MARIE LESZCZYNSKA
Feat of arms: wife of Louis XV, had 10 children. You call it chaos, I call it family.
Her motto: Family is like a pig pizza. It’s messy, might give you a stomachache and you can’t get enough of it.
MADAME DE POMPADOUR
Feat of arms: mistress of Louis XV, cultivated and brilliant but frigid. It happens to good people.
Her motto: sex is overrated.
MADAME DU BARRY
Feat of arms: former prostitute and last mistress of Louis XV. The Kim Kardashian of those days. She could have been a reality TV icon, so provocative and sultry was she.
Her motto: Fuck** life.
LOUIS XVI
Feat of arms: not the funniest nor the most intelligent of kings but definitely the kindest. He loved his people passionately and for that he will always have a special place in my heart. He was beheaded.
His motto: I got in over my head with the French Revolution.
MARIE-ANTOINETTE
Feat of arms: glamorous and iconic queen. Set the trend for lice-colored dresses. No judgment. She was beheaded. Like husband, like wife.
Her motto: Don't mess with my head!